Let’s face it: most of us aren’t so great at listening. Sometimes, the most loving thing someone can do is take some alone time and spare you being in the company of their moodiness. Wanting to be alone doesn’t equal not loving someone. Guys tend to need their space, anyway - so if your partner seems to be backing away and closing off when he’s grumpy, take the hint and let him have some time to himself. Sometimes, when you’re in a bad mood, what you really need is some time alone to recalibrate. If you’re a people-pleaser or struggle with codependent behavior, you’ll be tempted to try and make it all better. But don’t take on responsibility for trying to “fix” your partner’s bad mood. Sure, you can listen to him vent, suggest an activity that might make him feel better, and do all the other things on this list. There’s nothing more annoying, or less helpful, than someone trying to talk you out of a bad mood. When the bad mood has passed, bring it up and discuss how he can keep it from happening again. If your SO lashes out when he’s down, back away and take care of yourself. Your partner being in a bad mood is no excuse for being mean. But there are times when it’s critical to keep those boundaries strong. We’re our most vulnerable selves in romantic relationships, and that can make it hard to draw a line and protect ourselves when it becomes necessary - or to even know when it’s necessary. Maintaining strong boundaries with the people we’re most intimate with can be difficult. Here are nine ways to deal with your partner’s terrible mood - without succumbing to it yourself. But, even though it might be more work, it’s not impossible. It’s a sad truth that it’s much easier for an unhappy person to drag someone down than it is for a happy person to pull someone up. It’s easy for this situation to spiral quickly into a fight, pulling you right down with him into the depths of his misery. His grouchy face is like a pin, ready to burst the balloon of your happiness. If you’ve ever been excited to see your boyfriend, only to meet up and find that he’s in a funk, you know what I mean. When you’re at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up, so you’ve got nothing to lose. At least when you’re in a bad mood, you can wallow. It’s because hanging out with someone who’s in a bad mood is a serious bummer. Given the choice, I’d rather be down in the dumps myself than have my partner be blue - and it’s not because I’m so altruistic that I want to spare him from emotional pain. This article first appeared on SHE'SAID' and has been republished with permission.
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